O.C.D. Cure Discovered…not really

So Nick and I determined over breakfast yesterday that we both have developed OCD-like symptoms with age. We reasoned that it might be due to what we’ve learned over time. Such as, we know what we like and don’t like. We have experience and know when you make a mess no matter how long you leave it, how hard you pray, or how much you avoid it, you will eventually have to clean it up when you live alone. We’ve started to form opinions about things that we just didn’t bother with before, for example, 1-ply toilet paper. Seriously? Why do they even make that crap. It should be banned and sent to South America where it belongs.

I used to use pencils everyday in grade school. Then somewhere along the line I switched to pens. Everyone told me, “Ohh, pens were so great. Pens are the future.” Bull shit! Pens suck! They leak and get ink on my fingers and in my mouth (Have I mentioned I have a problem chewing on things?). I have to throw away 9,000 pieces of paper when I write in pen because I can’t get my “R” to look right. (This is a personal problem that I hope to fix with counseling).

So last night I was in class trying to avoid eye contact with my professor so I didn’t have to comment on the case study about the airlines I didn’t read when I realized…

TANGENT...Business strategy? Really? If your strategy is anything other than stay in in business and try and make money you’re an idiot. A PhD in Management can be learned in a few short life tips. 1-Don’t be an asshole. 2-Work. 3-Look around at what everyone else is doing. Copy and improve what they are doing right and don’t do what they are doing wrong. Finally, 4-Don’t be an asshole.

TOPIC…when I realized my OCD has been a lot more manageable since I switched back to using a pencil. That’s when it hit me! Pencils! They are the cure. Okay the cure is erasers and the ability to undo but pencils are more fun to talk about cause it is closer to the word penis…and pencils have erasers. Penises don’t (some should, ask Insert name of person with loose morals here what they think about that?)

Everyone needs to find the most anal person they know, take all their pens they and replace them with pencils (one with a good eraser). One day they will thank you. And maybe show you their…have I mentioned that I’m turning 30 on Monday?

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