Marketing Could Have Saved The World
Marketing could have saved the world. Actually, it just could have saved
Warning: Potty Words
There is really one one potty word but David Cross says it a few times.
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Those Who Build Upon Sand
KSL’s investigative reporting has learned it’s not a very good idea to build your house on a mountain that has been moving since the dawn of time. They have fasted, prayed, and consulted with BYU’s world renowned department of Passing Judgement on Others concluding that it’s still not a good idea to build your house on sand. They did, however, agree that construction could move forward in sandy areas if you could use the equity in your current home to build another home, those encouraging you to commit mortgage fraud were BYU graduates or if it increased the size of your downline. Utah County has since been offered in a trade to Wyoming for a new shinny dime and half a stick of gum. Wyoming officials are debating the offer considering the damage Utah County would do to Wyoming’s reputation.
Click here to read the story on KSL.com.
This is the CUTEST thing I’ve ever seen
I don’t think I’ve ever watched this without choking up. The first time I saw this clip I was sitting on my friends couch watching a U of U football game. I pulled it up on my iPod and watched it because the game was so boring. I realized by the end of the clip everyone in the room was staring at me cause I was sitting on the corner of the couch wiping the tears off my cheek. Yeah mock me now but watch it and see how well you hold it together.
How to Lose Creditability and Alienate Intelligent People
- pop your collar
- wear puka shell necklace
- wear clothing that says “Abercrombie or Hollister”
- say, “Bro!”, “When I was a DJ”, or modify any word to end with “-izzle”
- drive a car with a spoiler
- sell security systems, pest control, or have part in any MLM (especially those based in Utah County)
I’m sure this list will grow. In fact I know it will. I’m just getting it started.
Happy Birthday to Me
So I’m 31 today…
I decided to see who else was born on March 31st…
- Christopher Walken
- Al Gore
- Ewan MacGregor
- Angus Young
- Rhea Perlman
- Liz Claiborne
- Herb Alpert
- Rene Descartes
Huh…who knew?
Walmart Genius
The phone of the local Walmart bakery rings. The employee takes their finger out of the frosting, wipes it on their shirt, reaches for the phone.
“Hello ‘dis is WAL-marts. How can I help you today?
“Yes. I’d like to order a cake for a going away party.”
“Ok. What would you like it to say?”
“We’d like to say, ‘best wishes Suzanne’ and underneath that ‘we’ll miss you’.”
“Okay so that is, ’best wishes Suzanne and underneath that we’ll miss you’?”
“Correct.”
“That will be ready in two to three hours for you to pick up.”
AWESOME!
Senator Chris Buttars to Win Prestigious HAA Award
Today I announced that Utah Senator Chris Buttars will be award with the prestigious Horses Ass Award. Senator Chris Buttars (R, Senate 10) was first nominated after his racist comments last year. Last year Buttars described legislation on the Senate floor by saying, “This baby is black…this is a dark, ugly thing.” He then followed up that comment with this gem, ”the ACLU – bless their black hearts…,”
He ensured his place in history after opening his mouth once again to show everyone what a angry, hateful bigot he is. In a documentary about the LDS church’s involvement in California’s Prop 8 in 2008 Buttars was interviewed and reported compared homosexuals to radical muslims. That is just ridiculous because homosexuals don’t wear turbans. Buttars said, ”It’s just like the Muslims. Muslims are good people and their religion is anti-war. But it’s been taken over by the radical side.” Buttars also claims he’s “killed” every gay rights bill in the legislature for the last 8 years. He also talks about gay marriage being the beginning of the end. He offered real insight and understanding when he said, ”What is the morals of a gay person? You can’t answer that because anything goes.” And finally, this is how senator Buttars refers to the radical gay movement by saying, ‘They’re probably the greatest threat to America going down I know of.”
On his website Buttars states:
“One thing is sure; I will always be clear on where I stand on any issue and why I have taken that position.”
So I’ll break this down for you.
Sen. Buttars position: Homosexuality is evil and so are homosexuals.
Why: Buttars is a hate filled, ignorant bigot who just might be suppressing his own same gender attraction by attacking the homosexual community. Just a thought…
All I can hope and pray for is God to bless this Senator with a child or grandchild with same gender attraction so he might learn to be a decent human being.
Honorable Mention award goes to the residents of West Jordan who RE-ELECTED Senator Bigot Buttars last fall. West Jordan, I’d like to thank you for perpetuating the stereotype that Utah is full of close-minded, angry, republican bigots who claim to have a better Jesus than the rest of the world. Please get a clue when your out shopping tomorrow.
Only In Canada…
The fans of the Toronto Futbol Club voted to name the hawk at the stadium Bitchy. I’m not making this up.
INTRODUCING BITCHY THE HARRIS HAWK & BMO FIELD PROTECTOR!
The term “eyes like a hawk” has taken on a whole new meaning at BMO Field as the home of Toronto FC has a new guardian overlooking the pitch. Perched high above sits TFC’s newest member – Bitchy (as named by you the fans) the hawk. Enlisted to stand guard on match days, Bitchy is trained to protect the BMO Field faithful from…of all things … seagulls!
The proximity to Lake Ontario and of course all the fine food around BMO Field makes the stadium a haven for gulls. The pesky birds have caused quite the nuisance for players, fans and of course the clean up staff. But that all ends going forward.
Enter Parabuteo unicinctus, or as she is more commonly known as – Bitchy the Harris Hawk. This four year old bird of prey has a 1.2 metre wingspan and strikes fear in the eyes of seagulls (as well as rabbits, rodents, lizards and possibly visiting teams). Our newest supporter will be at all TFC home games to watch over our house.
Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
I’m reading a book called Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott. She quotes a poem by Phillip Lopate. This poem is great and unfortunately reminds me of WAY TOO MANY people I know.
We Who Are Your Closest Friends
By Phillip Lopate
We who are your closest friends feel the time has come to tell you that every Thursday we have been meeting, as a group, to devise ways to keep you in perpetual uncertainty frustration discontent and torture by neither loving you as much as you want nor cutting you adrift. Your analyst is in on it, plus your boyfriend and your ex-husband; and we have pledged to disappoint you as long as you need us. In announcing our association we realize we have placed in your hands a possible antidote against uncertainty indeed against ourselves. But since our Thursday nights have brought us to a community of purpose rare in itself with you as the natural center, we feel hopeful you will continue to make unreasonable demands for affection if not as a consequence of your disastrous personality then for the good of the collective.
Praises of My Genius