Senator Chris Buttars to Win Prestigious HAA Award

Today I announced that Utah Senator Chris Buttars will be award with the prestigious Horses Ass Award. Senator Chris Buttars (R, Senate  10) was first nominated after his racist comments last year. Last year Buttars described legislation on the Senate floor by saying, “This baby is black…this is a dark, ugly thing.” He then followed up that comment with this gem, ”the ACLU – bless their black hearts…,”

He ensured his place in history after opening his mouth once again to show everyone what a angry, hateful bigot he is. In a documentary about the LDS church’s involvement in California’s Prop 8 in 2008 Buttars was interviewed and reported compared homosexuals to radical muslims. That is just ridiculous because homosexuals don’t wear turbans. Buttars said, ”It’s just like the Muslims. Muslims are good people and their religion is anti-war. But it’s been taken over by the radical side.” Buttars also claims he’s “killed” every gay rights bill in the legislature for the last 8 years. He also talks about gay marriage being the beginning of the end. He offered real insight and understanding when he said, ”What is the morals of a gay person? You can’t answer that because anything goes.” And finally, this is how senator Buttars refers to the radical gay movement by saying, ‘They’re probably the greatest threat to America going down I know of.”

On his website Buttars states:

“One thing is sure; I will always be clear on where I stand on any issue and why I have taken that position.”

So I’ll break this down for you.

Sen. Buttars position: Homosexuality is evil and so are homosexuals.

Why: Buttars is a hate filled, ignorant bigot who just might be suppressing his own same gender attraction by attacking the homosexual community. Just a thought…

All I can hope and pray for is God to bless this Senator with a child or grandchild with same gender attraction so he might learn to be a decent human being.

Honorable Mention award goes to the residents of West Jordan who RE-ELECTED Senator Bigot Buttars last fall. West Jordan, I’d like to thank you for perpetuating the stereotype that Utah is full of close-minded, angry, republican bigots who claim to have a better Jesus than the rest of the world. Please get a clue when your out shopping tomorrow.

Only In Canada…

The fans of the Toronto Futbol Club voted to name the hawk at the stadium Bitchy. I’m not making this up.

Watch the Video

INTRODUCING BITCHY THE HARRIS HAWK & BMO FIELD PROTECTOR!

The term “eyes like a hawk” has taken on a whole new meaning at BMO Field as the home of Toronto FC has a new guardian overlooking the pitch. Perched high above sits TFC’s newest member – Bitchy (as named by you the fans) the hawk. Enlisted to stand guard on match days, Bitchy is trained to protect the BMO Field faithful from…of all things … seagulls!

The proximity to Lake Ontario and of course all the fine food around BMO Field makes the stadium a haven for gulls. The pesky birds have caused quite the nuisance for players, fans and of course the clean up staff. But that all ends going forward.

Enter Parabuteo unicinctus, or as she is more commonly known as – Bitchy the Harris Hawk. This four year old bird of prey has a 1.2 metre wingspan and strikes fear in the eyes of seagulls (as well as rabbits, rodents, lizards and possibly visiting teams). Our newest supporter will be at all TFC home games to watch over our house.

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott

I’m reading a book called Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott. She quotes a poem by Phillip Lopate. This poem is great and unfortunately reminds me of WAY TOO MANY people I know.

We Who Are Your Closest Friends

By Phillip Lopate

Rapper Snoop Dogg Converts to Mormonism

By Aaron Nichols

CNN.com

DIAMOND BAR, California (AP) — In what some may consider an unexpected move, rap artist “Snoop Dogg” has reportedly converted to Mormonism after nearly a year of study with the fast-growing, Utah-based faith

In a statement, a spokeswoman for Snoop Dogg — whose real name is Calvin Broadus — said he considers himself extremely fortunate to have discovered such a deep sense of spiritual fulfillment at this stage in his life.

“Mr. Broadus is also very pleased to find that his family is as enthusiastic about attending church services as he is,” the spokeswoman said.

However, Snoop Dogg has not been enthusiastic about publicly sharing his experience and declined to be interviewed by CNN for this article. In fact, he reportedly informed producers of his E! reality show “Snoop Dogg’s Father Hood” that this particular aspect of his family’s life was off-limits to the cameras. Still, he left open the possibility of addressing the subject in future episodes.

According to the Associated Press, Snoop Dogg was first introduced to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as the Mormon Church is officially known, after attending a Gladys Knight concert in an LDS meeting house in Los Angeles.

Knight, who very publicly discusses her conversion to Mormonism several years ago, invited Snoop Dogg to what is known to the Mormon faithful as “Family Home Evening,” a church program that encourages families to set aside Monday evenings for gospel-centered lessons and family togetherness.

Though Snoop Dogg has been hesitant to publicly discuss his recent spiritual journey, he commented on the experience of attending his first “Family Home Evening” in a recent interview with People Magazine.

“I was hooked from the start,” Snoop Dogg said. “We talked about the purpose of life, played Mousetrap, and ate brownies. The kids thought it was off the hook, for real.”

In what Snoop Dogg now thinks was anything but a coincidence, Mormon missionaries had knocked on his door just one week before the Knight concert. He said he had initially turned them away because of what he knew about the strict Mormon health code, which prohibits members from smoking, drinking alcohol, and using drugs.

“Y’all know me,” he said grinning broadly. “There were just certain things they old me — the “natural man” — needed to do. And these young guys are telling me that God’s not down with disrespecting ourselves. But it’s cool now.”

Snoop Dogg said his conversion marks the end of his old life, one that included frequent run-ins with the law. Snoop Dogg was convicted in 1990 of cocaine possession and charged with gun possession after a 1993 traffic stop. In 1997, he pleaded guilty in exchange for a lighter sentence.

In 1996, Snoop Dogg was acquitted of murder after a purported gangbanger was killed by gunfire from the vehicle in which Snoop Dogg was traveling.

Snoop Dogg dismisses critics who claim his conversion is intended to placate a Salt Lake County judge, before whom he is appealing an alleged probation violation.

“Listen, the haters will say what they will,” Snoop Dogg said. “I can only do what I feel is right.”

O.C.D. Cure Discovered…not really

So Nick and I determined over breakfast yesterday that we both have developed OCD-like symptoms with age. We reasoned that it might be due to what we’ve learned over time. Such as, we know what we like and don’t like. We have experience and know when you make a mess no matter how long you leave it, how hard you pray, or how much you avoid it, you will eventually have to clean it up when you live alone. We’ve started to form opinions about things that we just didn’t bother with before, for example, 1-ply toilet paper. Seriously? Why do they even make that crap. It should be banned and sent to South America where it belongs.

I used to use pencils everyday in grade school. Then somewhere along the line I switched to pens. Everyone told me, “Ohh, pens were so great. Pens are the future.” Bull shit! Pens suck! They leak and get ink on my fingers and in my mouth (Have I mentioned I have a problem chewing on things?). I have to throw away 9,000 pieces of paper when I write in pen because I can’t get my “R” to look right. (This is a personal problem that I hope to fix with counseling).

So last night I was in class trying to avoid eye contact with my professor so I didn’t have to comment on the case study about the airlines I didn’t read when I realized…

TANGENT...Business strategy? Really? If your strategy is anything other than stay in in business and try and make money you’re an idiot. A PhD in Management can be learned in a few short life tips. 1-Don’t be an asshole. 2-Work. 3-Look around at what everyone else is doing. Copy and improve what they are doing right and don’t do what they are doing wrong. Finally, 4-Don’t be an asshole.

TOPIC…when I realized my OCD has been a lot more manageable since I switched back to using a pencil. That’s when it hit me! Pencils! They are the cure. Okay the cure is erasers and the ability to undo but pencils are more fun to talk about cause it is closer to the word penis…and pencils have erasers. Penises don’t (some should, ask Insert name of person with loose morals here what they think about that?)

Everyone needs to find the most anal person they know, take all their pens they and replace them with pencils (one with a good eraser). One day they will thank you. And maybe show you their…have I mentioned that I’m turning 30 on Monday?

It’s Not Arrested Development but…

Since some jackasses at Fox decided to cancel Arrested Development I’ve been searching and searching for something to fill a void in my life. Because I look to television for my happiness I spend many hours watching, searching, and TiVo-ing (and yes I just used a noun as a verb). I think I might have found happiness. Again. After Arrested Development. I have found some form of idiot box bliss in the show 30 Rock on NBC. It’s written by and stars Tina Fey  from SNL. It also stars Alec Baldwin, Tracy Morgan, Jack McBrayer and more. I’m not going to tell you what it’s about. Just google (I just used a noun as a verb. again.) it.

Into the Wild Waste of My Time!

I watched Into the Wild this weekend. The movie is base on a book of the same title by Jon Krakauer. It is the story of a psychologically and emotionally oppressed tool named Christopher McCandless and his struggle to come to terms with his existence or belly button. I can’t figure that part out.

Atfer Chris graduates from college, he gives away all his money and takes off to Alaska. He doesn’t tell anyone. He just leaves. Are you kidding me? What a selfish prat! He doesn’t even call home to tell to his family. He leaves them to be heart broken and worry for two years. If I ever fly off the deep end and go off the grid I’d at least give my mom a heads up so she could sleep at night. Don’t get me wrong, there are times I’d love to pull this trick but not to head to Alaska or to contemplate my navel. I’d go do tight things like ride elephants in Thailand, walk on the Great Wall, and pee in the streets of Beijing. 

So Grizzly McCandless heads to the Alaska wilderness with his books about how to be a real man. He shacks up in some abandoned bus so he can stick his finger up his butt to make sure he’s really alive or “existing”. Forget the story…let’s get to the point. After months of studying and philosophizing hippie Chris comes to the realization that “happiness is not real unless shared”. 

Wow genius…it took you two years of traveling around the US and living in a bus in the middle of nowhere Alaska to figure that out. You could have knocked that lesson out in Genesis Chapter 1.

Grizzly McCandless eats some poison berry and dies in his bus. The end. 

Guinness Has Some Brass

My favorite new commercials…Guineess has some brass

Oh How I Miss the Bluths!

Greatest TV show ever

Got to love Utah County

This is a picture that my brother took in a local grocery store in Utah County. Are you surprised? When I was younger, the swimsuit issue used to be one of my favorites.